I keep coming up Bree, how can that be?

Ok, so my guilty pleasure is Desperate Housewives. I love the show. NOT that I get to watch it when it actually comes on. I love love love the fact that full episodes are now online! The mother's best friend! So I watch it after kids go to bed, usually Monday or Tuesday nights. I am not even sure it came on tonight, though. I have taken the 'which housewife are you?' quiz twice now. Once about a year ago, and the second time, about 4 minutes ago. I keep coming up as Bree. Now, how is this possible when I cannot seem to get a handle on my children? Yes, yes, the house looks great, the kids are fed, my husband is happy, but my, oh, my, what do I do about my kids? I have a very difficult 'leader of the pack' trying to run the show. Meanwhile making his siblings not even want to be around him. Let's just say today was hard, as was yesterday, and the day before that, and you know what? Pretty much, the last, mm, almost 5 years. I love him so much, that my heart could bust out of my chest sometimes. I am just having a hard time. I mean, I want him to be likable. He is likable, it is just when he isn't being likable, that is the problem. His meltdowns have been getting bad again, Are they connected to Tim being gone? Who's to say? Because they did not start in the last year. They have been since he was newborn. My mind goes back to endless nights with him, at our home in Memphis. I remember thinking, 'I don't think babies are supposed to be THIS hard'. I have had a lot of prior experience around babies and children in general. For years I babysat, was the oldest of 3, and taught children and babies at church. But this child, dear friends, was not like any I had ever dealt with.
So, here I am. I have three wonderful children. The eldest of which is a born leader, determined to lead the other 2 in the direction HE chooses, and not what old mommy is there talking about. I am so tired, I really am.
So, after two years of getting him seen for adhd, we are again on a new road, with new doctors, and when we go in again this week, I will bring up a different thought. I had heard of it before, but never researched it, It is called ODD. And when I looked it up, I literally started to cry. I do think this may be our answer. It is Oppositional defiant disorder. And many that have this are boys, and also, many have it along with ADHD, and that is what makes it doubly hard, and tiring. Soo, I will mention this to the doctor Thursday. It is where the child simply defies adults, and does whatever they want, regardless. I never thought this kind of action could happen, but I witnessed it. Back in WA, I was at a friend's house while our hubby's were in the field for 3 wks training. Another wife's husband came in from his job, to get her, and their child, Well, he noticed my 3 yr old son not listening to a word I was saying, and doing what he wanted. The 6 ft something soldier IN UNIFORM gets down in his face and helps me out by telling him what to do, and my son doesn't even bat an eye. Wow. This is one defiant child. So, I need help. I feel like I am getting sick. I need to be well for all the kids, and not have all energies on one defiant child. And I need to stay well to get back to my husband soon.
I have so much more to write, but I really need to go to bed. I am working a little this week
Oh, I am tired..